:Family Matters

Well, Justin is less than 48 hours away from standing on those yellow footprints at Parris Island, SC. I’ll admit I’m feeling a little bummed. I hope everything works out okay.

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Sunday, April 16, 2006
Syl walks around the house with Tom, repeating the items he has pointed out: rotten board under the front porch eaves, downspout needs to turn south instead of West, away from the basement leak out toward the front lawn, birds and squirrels like this particular area and the exposed joist probably needs some additional support….and so forth. The roofing guy will be here tomorrow to see about replacing the gutters and downspouts, and after the air conditioning fiasco, Syl wants to understand exactly what is expected.

Monday, April 17, 2006
Steve of Adam’s Roofing listens to Syl’s recitations and says “I’d like to see the roof. No sense patching things up if you haven’t taken care of the root problem.” Syl heads back inside the house to try out a new piano book she purchased at the LDS bookstore in Chicago while Steve pulls an extension ladder out of his SUV and tramps on the rooftop. “That’s a lovely serenade for a guy on a housetop,” he says about 15 minutes later. “You need a new roof.”

Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Franklin skips on his way in to see the dentist. Opening the office door he exclaims, “I love that smell.” Mom hasn’t wanted to worry Franklin, so she hasn’t told him what it is like to get a filling. She does mention to Dr. Lipker that this is Franklin’s first time. “Not to worry,” says Dr. Lipker cheerfully. “We’ll explain as we go.” He turns to Franklin. “You’ve got sugar bugs in your tooth and we need to get them out.” He then picks up the drill showing a fascinated and still happy Franklin how it squirts water and moves so quickly it whistles. “That’s why we call it Mr. Whistle. And this is a giant Mr. Thirsty,” he says, as the technician shows Franklin the suction tube.
There is a lull while the dental tech preps the swab and the needle. Mom realizes Dr. Lipker has not mentioned the numbing shot. Feeling that Franklin deserves a fair warning for this dreaded experience she clears her throat from her corner. “Will he get a shot?”
Franklin sits up, eyes wide. “Shot?”
Dr. Lipker doesn’t miss a beat as he says to Mom, “You mean the sleepy water.” Franklin relaxes back into the chair. The doctor puts the swab in Franklin’s mouth to numb the shot location. “We have to put the sugar bugs to sleep so we can wash them out, so we have to give them sleepy water,” he explains. “I need you to close your eyes to help the sugar bugs go to sleep.” Franklin closes his eyes. Dr. Lipker picks up the huge needle contraption, but with his eyes closed Franklin can’t see it. “It pinches a bit when we give the sugar bugs sleepy water,” he says, beginning the injection. Franklin is relaxed and doesn’t even flinch. From Mom’s corner the shot seems to go on and on and on. “Just a little bit more,” says the doctor. At last the shot is over and Franklin can open his eyes again. Franklin touches his mouth with his finger. “Is it feeling a little funny?” asks the dentist. Franklin nods. “I like this feeling,” he says.
After the filling is completed Franklin makes his much-anticipated trip to the treasure box. He knows just what he wants so it doesn’t take him long to pull out a green ring. “Green looks a lot like blue,” he says. “Isn’t it beautiful? It almost looks like one of the Chaos Emeralds.” (Chaos Emeralds are part of the Sonic and Knuckles video game Franklin likes to play.) Franklin’s only comment as he skips out of the office with his ring and numb mouth is, “I didn’t know it had to pinch when you put the sugar bugs asleep.”
Later that evening , watching Bryan solemnly march into the back door of the Church of the Nazarene where Knight Driving School holds its classes, Mom reflects on which is harder: watching your child get his first cavity filled or attend his first drivers’ education class?

Wednesday, April 19, 2006
David goes to the Youth Activity. Bryan works on a math test—the assignment is to write a test for Chapter 10 neatly enough that the teacher can photocopy it and use it next year. Dad sifts sand in the sandbox. Mom prunes the lilac trees and raspberry bushes. Franklin alternates between tree house, sandbox and the trampoline and the popsicle box in the freezer.

Thursday, April 20, 2006
Bryan is relieved to find an extension has been given for the math test deadline. He has discovered several errors in his exam.
Skittles has been a naughty kitty, pooping in the tub and peeing on the bathroom rugs. Grandpa Andrus has some free advice for this problem, “Get rid of the cat.” Syl takes her to the vet instead. Less than 2 months ago, Skittles had her rabies and distemper booster shots. She recognizes the pet carrier and meows piteously all four blocks to the Janesville Veterinary Clinic. Not happy to have a rectal temperature taken, she poises for a flying leap off the examining table. Syl restrains her and is rewarded with a swift and deep bite on her right hand. Skittles is asked to remain overnight so a urine sample can be collected.

Friday, April 21, 2006
Bryan confesses, “I know I didn’t have to work so hard on the test. I could have printed it—but I enjoyed doing it.”
When Syl picks up the cat she is told that Skittles has a urinary tract infection and will need to swallow one pill a day for the next 14 days. “How do I give her this pill,” asks Syl.
“It’s chewable,” says the technician.
“What if she doesn’t want to eat it?”
The technician sighs and sets down the pen she is using to write up the script. “What I do is take a Q-tip, stick it in my mouth, hold the cat’s body with one hand, hold her mouth open with other, pop her mouth open, slip the pill in, grab the Q-tip from my lips and push the pill in.” Uh-huh. Syl’s hand is still sore from the last time it was near Skittle’s mouth. The vet tech continues her explanation. “Cats lick their noses after they swallow, so after I get the pill in, I rub the nose so it feels like it needs to swallow.” Right. Perhaps this will be one of those learning experiences for David? Syl hands over the check, picks up the pills and the cat and drives home. Skittles cries all the way back, but just like a child, her mood changes when she gets what she wants. “Mrrr-ee-oww,” she says, jumping out of Syl’s arms and onto her own familiar floor. Fortunately, she is very hungry and eats today’s pill with her dry cat food. One down, thirteen to go.
After picking the cat up, Syl drops the van off. Two short stories and a Jr. Whopper later she learns the ’98 Dodge Caravan, which only cost $5,000, requires about that much in repairs if we’d like it to last a couple more years.
Kristi calls for reassurance an hour before she is scheduled to have a wisdom tooth pulled. “Will it hurt? I don’t do well with pain.” She later e-mails, “I just got back…The dentist just popped it out. No incision, nothin’! It took like 1-2 minutes. What was I worried about? geez.”
When Syl tells Tom her woes over dinner, he is cautiously optimistic. “Geo, van, roof. Well, don’t they say trouble comes in threes?”

Saturday, April 22, 2006
David and Bryan are up early getting ready for a Seminary Super Saturday in Madison. Because of their early arrival, they are able to choose teams for the Scripture Mastery contest consisting of 4 teams of 5 or 7 people each. Three teams are student teams; one team is a teacher team. David and Bryan are initially separated, but the Green Team David is on has 8 people and Purple Team where Bryan is at has 4, so David volunteers to move over Purple. The kids are quick at finding scripture passages, but the teachers give better explanations to scripture questions; however, Bryan wins the game by saying “Amen” in answer to the question “What is the last word in the Book of Mormon?” Sister Shearer unsuccessfully argues that “The End” ends the Book of Mormon. Bryan’s answer, the last word Moroni gave, is what the judges are looking for. The Purple Team is awarded medals.
Mom hopes today’s cat pill will go down as easily as yesterday. She sets it on top of Skittle’s dry cat food, after which she and Franklin drive around looking at cars again—hoping to spot a bargain at Scheop’s Motors, in Madison. Scheop’s has been advertising “one hail of a sell,” as they had many cars damaged in a hail storm last week. Dad and Mom are greeted by a salesman who asks them what price range they are looking at, and cheerfully assures them he can find them something for that amount. Dad and Mom say, “No thanks.”
Skittles is not so hungry today and has eaten daintily around her medicine. Tom opens up a can of wet cat food, crumbling the pill into the serving. Two down, twelve to go.
Evie and her Dad cross the street, Evie carrying a toy pet carrier. “Evie was wondering if Franklin wanted to play for awhile,” says Ken Church. “And how is your lovely daughter? Done with nursing school, hunh? I told her she should stick in there and be a doctor. Well, you take care now, and say hi to Kristi for me.” Evie slips inside the door to show Franklin the plush animal she has carried so carefully from her house to ours. “It’s a rat,” she says. “His name is Tip Top.”
David checks out “Remember the Titans.” He knows it’s a great movie, and is not surprised to find both Dad and Mom crying before the end.

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Life in Beaver Dam this Spring has been good for our little family. We have been able to spend more time together without the horrible Maverick time-sucker, and so we are getting some things done around the house. Sherm has been working on “Sherm’s Sidewalk Show,” his album of tunes that he wrote way back in 1999ish. If you want to hear it, it’s on BA’s FTP, and I’m sure if you ask him he’ll help you get it. BA is the lyric writer on a couple of the songs, my favorite being “Gin and Tonic Man.” It has a fabulous bass line. We have an area of the basement devoted to recording and playing music, but it was mostly unused untill lately. I’m really glad to she Sherm back doing what he loves, at least some of the time.

We also have been working on an outside play area for Aviendha. We have a very large yard, although it is mostly weeds and rocks and red sand. Our downstairs has a covered patio, and off the patio is our side yard. Yesterday we purchased a big Trampoline, and set it up in the side yard. Aviendha already has a sand play area out there, and then we are going to put the blow-up kiddie pool out there too, so she will have lots of things to do while playing outside. She loves to play outside, is always begging to go out, and now she loves to put her shoes and socks on, because that means that she can go out whenever she wants. She knows the names of all the neighborhood dogs that come to visit, and as we sit outside and watch her play, it’s not uncommon to have Bubba, Buddy and Mesa, all three black labs of some sort, running and playing, baby girl trailing along after them yelling, Bubba, Buddy, Mena!!! She gets knocked down constantly, but usually doesn’t mind a bit. She just gets right up and keeps going. Her dad says, “Just rub some dirt on it.” The dogs usually have on jewelry of some sort before she is done. We’ve seen mardi gras beads, name tags and stereo cords, to name a few.

I am 31 weeks pregnant, and I am now counting by the weeks, as I get more and more miserable. Teaching high school and middle school students is not the best thing for your self esteme while pregnant. I get comments on every piece of clothing I wear, the state of my hair, my acne, and my general size. Yesterday I wore a pink shirt and got called a giant bottle of Pepto Bismol all day long. This morning I was greeted by “What are you wearing?” My answer is generally “Clothes.” Honestly, I can’t wait to get out of this profession, if only to escape the continuous criticism of the teenage style police.

Weeding and gardening went from possible to almost impossible in the last few weeks. Forget weeding, and shaving my legs, and reaching my toes, and sleeping comfortably, and wearing normal shoes. Instead, lets welcome strectch marks, itchy belly, constantly having to go the bathroom and not being able to climb the stairs without multiple breaks. I know DeVon knows how that one feels! For the rest of it, I’ll have to be satisfied that the women understand.

I’m playing in church at my Grandma’s ward in St. George this Sunday with a student from the High School. We are playing an arrangement we wrote of Sweet Hour of Prayer and Poor Wayfaring Man of Greif. That should be fun.

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Ah, so! Am velly, velly happy to inform honored family that ancient parents have returned from long journey to far away land to find all well. That is if you don’t count the magnolia blossoms just waiting to burst when we left that are now nothing but black protuberances waiting for a kindly wind to end their misery by sending them flying off to mingle with the tumbleweeds heading down wind before they disappear into the neighbors yard. (Must have been a good hard frost while we were gone?)I could take matters into my own hand and pick them off, which I have done in past years, but this year there must be at least a hundred blossoms and that seems a little daunting having learned to my sorrorw what can happen when one begins an unwise course of action I have chosen to let nature take its course without any help from me. Case in point:

When I was younger and first noted a white hair I pulled it out, and the next one and then the next one and then the next one until I started to notice that one was becoming many and in my attempt to pull the offending hair/hairs I often pulled the one beside it. This meant that I had to try again and before long I would have cleared a spot around the pesky white hair and it would still be firmly in place enjoying the light that fell upon it in the clearing I had created. One day it occurred to me that if I kept the activity up I would soon be quite bald and so I quit and let happen what would happen. This means that I am now quite white with the bright side being, (there is always a bright side to any situation if only one looks hard enough, tho I must qualify that statement by saying there have been a few times in my life that left me looking long and hard, in fact I am still looking but mostly its a true statement) having saved a pretty penny or two by not getting trapped into the dying thing, not that I am saying that keeping ones hair its natural color even when it isnt, isn’t quite attractive–it is. It’s just that knowing myself I wouldn’t get the coloring done in a timely manner and the thought of having a distinct color line slowly descending down my head ’til such time as I hit the bottle again just didn’t have any appeal to me.

We have spent our first full day back recuperating, which for MGH means sitting in his fine new chair that honorable children provided for him this Christmas past with a warm blanket wrapped around his legs. He has done the cross word puzzle in both papers, dozing intermittently as the need arises. Then on to a baseball game followed by a western or two and he has been quite content. As for me I have pulled a few weeds/hit the exercise bike for an hour/got a load of dishes washed/crocheted/napped and read in the novel Joy loaned me to read on the plane coming home which I did do but it is a long book. Now I must go up and prepare supper before it gets any later after which we will read six pages in the old testament which at the rate we are going we should finish by the end of June. Then on to the remains of the day before going to bed.

We enjoyed seeing the three J’s and Kendra. They took good care of us and saw that we were pampered and entertained the whole time we were in Norfolk where Joy has just completed a six month training program at the Naval School of Music. Much to our delight and her credit she earned the honor of being number one graduate of the twenty-one men and women in her group. Way to go Joy!!!

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Sunday, April 9, 2006
Bryan has called for a House Meeting to discuss the TV being left on, and for acceptable disciplinary actions he may take when Franklin doesn’t turn it off! Franklin (not being your average bear) before the meeting preemptively draws a “politinis plan,” on his white board, just like the Berenstain Bears. Here is the Politeness Plan, as drafted during the House Meeting:

Rudeness–Penalty
Forgetting “please” or “thank you.”–One swiffer.
Interrupting–Dust 5 minutes
Hogging bathroom, taking all the hot water–Clean bathroom
Mocking–Police front yard (back yard OK too) collect kindling
Yelling–Pick up dog poop
Eating before all are served–Take out a trash or recyclable
Lying–Clean your room

Wendell Joe and Jenyne call to wish Mom a belated birthday. They are/were way ahead of the game, having gifted Mom with a Bath and Body Works package while visiting during their spring break. Hearing from them during this busy part of the school year is a real treat.
Charlie wishes Mom a belated happy birthday too—after David calls him and brings Mom the cell phone. “I was in my first Medieval play yesterday, and I forgot,” says Char. Char was Pontius Pilate. Mom wishes she could have seen it and thinks it is a real treat to hear from Char too, but she only says, “What’s more important? A play or your Mother’s birthday?”

Monday, April 10, 2006
It’s spring break week for Janesville schools. Franklin and Mom are out-of-doors first thing in the morning. Mom pauses to put on a purple hat, carrying a second hat in her hand. She finds Franklin already digging deep holes in the front flower bed. “Oh,” he says. “What a lovely hat. Can I wear one?” Mom surrenders the purple hat on her head, and puts on her white hat with pink flowers. She begins to pick up sticks. “I just love digging,” says Franklin with a contented sigh. Mom brings out the pruning shearers and begins trimming the bushes. Franklin suggests that they trade tasks, turning his yellow hoe over to her. He does a great job trimming and even puts the cut branches into a brown paper bag as he has seen Mom do. After a while his arms get sore and it is time to trade again. “I just love digging,” says Franklin contentedly working on his hole. “Did I already say that?”
Such a lovely day comes complete with sunshine and those first bare arms and legs of spring. Bryan comes back from tennis practice with a pink nose and bright pink arms. “You might want to put some sunblock on that,” says Mom.
“Why? Burn will turn into tan.”
“Because you need to do yardwork for another hour and burn will turn into more burn and strings and shreds of peeling skin.”
“That’s the best part,” says Bryan cheerfully. He and David begin the spring dog poop pick-up and leaf rake. An hour later, Mom examines Bryan’s arms again. They are now flaming red. “I told you so,” says Mom. “You can break off one of the aloe vera leaves and rub that on. That sometimes helps.”
“Oh, Mother,” says Bryan. “Stop worrying.”

Mitch and Adam stop by in the afternoon to talk about the plot and props for the filming to be done Wednesday night as a youth activity, an advertisement for legal services provided by a Book of Mormon character. Here a few bits of the outline/script:

A profession lawyer dude is talking.
“Have your sheep been scattered or taken?” [A shepherd, holding a bunch of cotton balls is standing in a field. People come running by from the same direction. When surrounded by the hoard of people the shepherd throws his cotton balls up in the air.]

Lawyer dude continues. “Are you being oppressed?” [A bull whip cracks as a boy walks by carrying a huge cardboard box sprayed grey.]

Lawyer dude continues. “Have you been harmed by a prophet’s warning?” [A prophet throws up his arms while shouting, “Repent ye, repent ye, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” One of his arms inadvertently hits a bystander in the face, bystander falls down.]

Lawyer dude concludes: “If so, Zeezrom Legal Services can help you today.”

[Shepherd lifts up face, spits out cotton balls and holds up a bag of money.] Shepherd says: “I got 100 senums with the help of Zeezrom Legal Services.”

[Oppressed person sits on box, head wrapped and arm in a sling. Other arms hold up bag of money.] Oppressed says: “I got 100 amnors with the help of Zeezrom Legal Services.”

[Guy struck down by prophet is in a stretcher.] The guy carrying him says, “He got 100 ontis with the help of Zeezrom Legal Services.” [Guy on stretcher holds up money bag.]

Film ends with all saying, “Zeezrom Legal Services. Apply Today.”

Tuesday, April 11, 2006 Bryan has been asking “Might I have a bit of cloth?” in his best Medieval British accent. Mom finally pulls down her scrap box and finds a suitable piece of blue, which Bryan promptly cuts into two circles and sews into money bags with drawstrings, props for the film. (Charlie and Bryan have become sewing experts after making their circle-based cloaks.) Mom limits her advice to which setting on the sewing machine will produce a straight stitch, and she finds a few extra glass rocks for the monetary exchange.
Bryan shows David the completed bags (Dave nods his approval) and his browning arms. “Look. Tan. And Mom was worried.”
“Tan? That still looks white to me.”

Tom Johnson, David Kehl and Tim Finefield are over at various times during the day, playing Starcraft and Mario Double-Dash. David is heard answering the phone, “Is this the Ninja?” Of course, there is a story behind this: One day as Tom Johnson and a couple of friends are passing the Craig High pay phone it rings. The friend answers saying, “Is this the Ninja?” The person on the other end stammers, “Heather? Is Heather there?” The friend repeats, “Is this the Ninja?”
“No. Who are you?”
“I am the Ninja Hunter.”
Click. The caller hangs up and tries again. Ring. The same boy answers. “Hello, is Heather there?” “Is this the Ninja?” Click. Tom’s first friend laughs and begins to walk away. The phone rings again, the second friend picks it up, “Ninja’s Anonymous. How can we help you?”
Tom J. and Dave K. stay for dinner. We had chicken last time Dave was over, but Bryan assures him that tonight we will have Noh chicken. (A new audience for our Noh chicken jokes!) Mom observes that we have Dave and Dave and Tom and Tom at the table. Tom J. and Dave K. agree that this is a problem. “If we use first names, the two Daves answer, and if we say ‘Hey, Doman!’ then we get those two,” says Tom as he waves a hand towards David and Bryan.
The boys discuss a number of topics, but the one that sticks out is, “Have you ever noticed that even in fields that have a majority of women, it’s usually a guy that is at the top of the profession?” Mom calls them on that one, “Does the phrase ‘glass ceiling’ mean anything to you? Do you honestly believe the guy is really the best?” Tom ducks and the four teens look blankly at Mom.

Devin sends an e-mail. Here are excerpts:

“…I learned many things from Conference. This was the first time I’ve stayed awake for all five sessions….I suppose you think that’s terribly clever. What would you say if I told you I was planning on overseeing an expedition to the small moon of Charon in the orbit of Pluto to set up a fusion reactor system to power a special weapons device designed specifically to ignite the planet Jupiter to terraform it into an active star thus destroying any hope of preserving the delicate balance of life that Earth has thus far managed? That’s what I thought…”
“I want to testify that there is one underlying message that came powerfully to me throughout all of the [General Conference] sessions and it is this: Heavenly Father loves all of his children. Of course I was aware of this beforehand, but I felt that ever more clearly as I listened to the talks given. We are of great worth. I am of great worth. We have a divine potential, and the Lord will help us to see the end from the beginning.”
“If there is anything that I want my family to know of themselves, it is this. I am grateful to have a family, and I am eternally grateful to have been taught with exceeding care…I am thankful that I have come to know these things are true, and to have been taught by my mother and supported by my siblings and with the prayers of my grandparents….”
“…I took the challenge of Richard G. Hinkley…and started keeping a notebook ‘what my membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints means to me’ and I can attest as he did: It means everything to me. Without it my soul would be wrought with grief. I cannot imagine not knowing of the great plan of happiness, or my great potential. From where would I have my hope? Where then would be my joy? No, this gospel is true and the knowledge of it does bring peace in this life. And living it and enduring to the end brings eternal life in the world to come.”
“….Often there is a rut of thinking that the world will be a better place tomorrow. I do have hope for a better world….The gospel brings happiness today. We can rely on the Lord today. Resolve today to keep the commandments of God. It is Satan that convinces a man to wait until tomorrow to change. The Lord needs action today.”
….’We should live in the present for our future will be destroyed…’ (ha ha, see BAD Times)”

Elder Doman

Kristi sends an e-mail. Here are excerpts:

Yesterday, the Pediatric floor of Eastern Idaho Regional Medical Center sent home 4 out of their 5 patients. So, what happens to Kristi Scoubes? Since she has a TON of homework due….[instead of sending her home on call] they send her to the 6th floor….[to do] a one-on-one with [a DNR patient who may die before the end of the shift].….so….I watched TV for three hours, occasionally repositioning and talking to my patient until family/friends came…

Discussion with CHARGE NURSE.
Kristi: “Family is here.”
Charge Nurse: “Just keep checking up on him, will you?”
Kristi: “Okay…?”
Charge Nurse: “I just don’t want him to fall.”
Kristi: “I don’t think he’s going to jump out of bed with the family in there.” (He hardly moves now.)
Charge Nurse: “Does he move at all?”
Kristi: “A little.”
Charge Nurse: “You know what you could do? You can distribute towels and empty catheters.”

…Thirty minutes later Kristi meets almost all of the TCU patients by saying, “Hi. I’m the towel distributor. How are you?” Job DONE.
Next step: A really nice LPN says, “Can you give some morphine?”….
One the way to give some morphine one old lady says, “Can you help me to the bathroom?”……So, after a few hours a patient is in critical cardiac condition.

Discussion with CHARGE NURSE.
Charge Nurse: “Do you feel comfortable giving atropine?”
Kristi: Shakes her head. “The last time I gave atropine was on a 4-week-old and it scared me half to death.” (Atropine is a drug given to stop the heart in hopes that it will start again and start in a regular, normal heart rhythm.)
Pause.
Kristi: “Isn’t there someone else that can give it?”
Charge Nurse: “No.”
Kristi: “YOU MEAN I’M THE ONLY REGISTERED NURSE ON THE FLOOR?!!!!!!”
Charge Nurse: Nods her head. (LPN’s can Charge up here.)

Kristi has an “aha” moment. So that’s why they kept me up on this floor “tasking,” and giving IV push medications.

The moral of this story…I’ve been trying to do homework and I just needed a break so I though I’d write you this story and say, “HELLO! I LOVE YOU!”

p.s. The one-on-one was still living when I left the floor.
p.p.s. Almost all of the nurses were way older than me and called me “Kiddo,” or [said] “Nice job, Kid.”

Love, Kristi Scoubes

Wednesday, April 12, 2006
David baby-sits Franklin so Mom can attend the Chicago Temple with Jane Jordan. When she returns after a full 8 hours away she finds Franklin safe and fed and happy, plus a clean kitchen and living room. Thank you David and Bryan.
Dave and Bryan direct the Zeezrom Legal Services commercial, which turns out well despite the fact that they had to dry shoot it.

Thursday, April 13, 2006
Official summer job interview for David, who wears a nice collar shirt (as opposed to the ratty hole-ridden T’s he likes to lounge around in) with his black jeans as he comes down the stairs to go. “Did you cut your hair?” asks Mom, noticing his neat appearance. “No,” says David. “You’d like me to, wouldn’t you? I combed it.”
David and Brother Gary Wallace have been out doing their home teaching, discussing the recent vandalism of some mailboxes with white-haired and much-venerated Gene and June Davis. “Who would do such a thing?” exclaims David. Gene Davis grins and says, “Well, used to be, every Halloween my friends and I would get on our horses, lasso down a few mailboxes and drag them to the river.” Gary Wallace shakes his head. What is the world coming to?

Friday, April 14, 2006
Mom declares today a wonderful day for more leaf raking. Teresa Covington and her girls join the fun and it isn’t long before the leaves are done.
The sun is out when Dad comes home from work. He and Franklin spend some time in the treehouse and sifting sand in the sandbox. After supper, Franklin talks Mom and Dad into playing some tennis, which means loading up the wagon with 3 rackets, a couple balls, Franklin, walking the 3 blocks to the Craig High courts, chasing the balls for 5 minutes, and then returning. Franklin is very thirsty by the time we get back home.

Saturday, April 15, 2006 Errands. Lots of them. David and Bryan return library videos and exchange birthday socks twice, and pick out a new DVD player. Our bargain $25 player is scratching disks—which didn’t alarm Dad too much until “The Incredibles” stopped working. (Editor: Not true. Star Trek “Who Mourns for Adonis” also was having problems.) And they take the Chevy to Auto Zone to find out why the ‘check engine’ light is on. “It’s the oxygen sensor, just like the Geo,” says Dave.
Dad and Mom drag Franklin along for a Goodwill and grocery run. Mom has waited until the last minute to get Easter egg dye, and not finding any, she and Franklin check at the service desk. “We just sold out today,” says the lady, “Good for us, too bad for you.” Franklin says resignedly, “Well, I did get to color eggs at school.”
On one of the sock exchange runs to K-Mart, Mom does find a dye kit. She and Franklin color eggs upstairs while downstairs Natasha, Kathleen and Mitch play Mario Kart with David and Bryan. This particular kit has little cups with wheels and stickers that turn the eggs into cars and planes and helicopters, which Franko very much enjoys putting together. Even though it is close to bedtime, he cannot be dissuaded from pulling out his box of wooden blocks and making a small city for the egg vehicles. Franklin is not able to go to bed until we call his brothers and their friends to come upstairs, and take a look. Then, we each take one creation and carefully move it into the refrigerator.

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I hope you all had a nice Easter Sunday. We went to the ward pancake breakfast & egg hunt yesterday morning. That was fun. Kendra didn’t really understand why she was out there looking for eggs - but she still ran around picking them up. Once she realized they had loot inside she became really protective of them - not even letting us take her bag to put her in her carseat when it was time to go. But it was cute.

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Sunday, April 2, 2006
Today is the All-City Strings concert. It is David’s last time playing with the Janesville Schools in this event, and Bryan’s first time as a Golden Strings member. As Bryan is getting dressed in his tuxedo pants, tuxedo shirt and bright red vest Franklin asks, “Are you going to a wedding?” Dad can’t help himself and jumps in with, “Yeah, who died?” Bryan ignores both comments, focusing on tying his black bow tie.
It takes five directors to conduct the combined orchestras from the various elementary schools, three middle schools and two high schools. As always, they end with Canon in D (although some years they don’t always end together.) This year, they make it, all five conductors giving the final cut-off at once.

It is also General Conference Sunday, a day to kick back and relax and listen to great music and great sermons and spend time together as a family. General Conference is a meeting held twice a year in Salt Lake City at the Conference Center on Temple Square, and piped into LDS chapels via satellite and also simulcast over the internet. The Prophet and other General Authorities speak. The Mormon Tabernacle Choir sings. There are no other LDS church meetings held on this Sunday. Anyone who wishes to listen to General Conference during or after-the-fact can log onto www.lds.org.
Dad gets out his knife sharpening blocks and sits at the table honing kitchen knives. David and Bryan join, with only one small slip on Bryan’s part, which he quickly fixes with a bright green band-aid. Franklin is only required to “sit” through the Sunday morning session and he opts for a notebook and crayons. Mom sits down with her scrap booking supplies and her list of 10 questions she’d like answered (a suggestion from last week’s Relief Society meeting). She is delighted with the stack of handmade cards she completes and impressed with the number of questions on her list that were at least partially referenced in talks by the speakers.
After 3 1/2 hours of speakers the rest of us are pretty churched-out, but Franklin insists on holding Family Home Evening—until he finds out his job is “Prayer.” “No!” he wails, “I’m not saying it!” He leans back in the blue chair and kicks up his feet over his head. David and Bryan, sitting on the couch, roll onto their backs and kick up their feet. Not wishing to be left out of the fun, Mom rolls back, kicking her feet into the air as well. Tom laughs, “Where’s the camera when you need it?” The song is “We Are the Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything.” Bryan’s joke is about two fish in a tank—one turns to the other and says, “You man the guns, I’ll drive.”

Our favorite daughter and son-in-law call. Jonas is back safe and sound from his week-long orientation in Oxnard, California. Both enjoyed General Conference, especially the two talks Mom missed while at All-City Strings.

Monday, April 3, 2006
The shop calls Tom and Tom calls Syl. The unusual noise made by the GEO last Friday is the tranny, a $1200 repair on an 8-year-old car with 270,000 miles on it. While disappointed we won’t be able to watch the odometer roll over to 300,000 we are grateful for the service provided by the old car with its comfortable seats, chrome wheels and nearly-red exterior.
Dad has a nasty, cold, but he and Mom drive around after dinner looking at cars.

Tuesday, April 4, 2006
David tells Sister Shearer he will soon be ready to recite from memory his remaining Scripture Mastery scriptures, and that if Sister LeFevre (one of the parents participating in the program and the only person close to completing it) wants to be the first one done, she only has two days left to do so.
Dad still has a nasty cold but he and Mom drive around after dinner looking at cars.

Wednesday, April 5, 2006
Dad’s cold is still present, but he and Mom drive around after dinner looking at cars.

Thursday, April 6, 2006
David makes good on his promise, having memorized the last six Book of Mormon Scripture Mastery scriptures. (There are 25 verses selected for the Old Testament, the New Testament, the Book of Mormon and the combined Doctrine and Covenants and Pearl of Great Price. Seminary students study one of these sets of scriptures each year for four years.) He is the first one to complete all 25 for the year.

Wet rainy weather, no car to get out and go places. Tom would probably clean the kitchen stove, catch up on laundry, fix a couple of chairs, etc. But, Tom is at work and Mom is the one at home. Mom picks up a book, and for the first time in years enjoys a full-fledged-up-to-the-rim-of-the-tub bubble bath. Absorbed in the story, she alternately drains water out and lets water in, manipulating the plug and the fixture handle with her toes. Oops! The bath is cut short when the last of the hot water runs out and cold water begins rushing in! (Editor: Guess I’m out of practice!)

Dad’s eyes are starting to look bloodshot, but he stays late for his Thursday afternoon manager’s meeting, taking the long way home to look at cars.

Friday, April 7, 2006 The air conditioning guys are back…

Party with the Covington-Nay’s. Teresa and her girls have prepared a taco salad dinner. Afterwards we open presents, eat cake and play games, including Lazy Man’s Hide and Seek—a variation on 20 questions. David is hiding in James Bond’s watch. Amanda is in a skyscraper in New York City. Jillian is the Goddess Isis in Africa, riding in a gel-cap in the mouth of the Giraffe featured in Madagascar. Bryan is the number pi in his calculator. Franklin is hiding in an ice cube in the ice bucket on our dining room table.
Next come punching balloons. The Nay girls are a talented bunch, able to keep their balloons bouncing while walking, twirling and rubbing their heads or bellies. Bryan gets to the twirly part, makes a dive over the couch, nearly smashing David and Natasha in the head. His balloon touches the floor and he is out!
The younger kids disappear to the basement while the teens and adults get cerebral. Teresa has a numeric code we must use to decipher well-known and famous people, the first 10 of which turn out to be us!

Saturday, April 8, 2006
Dad and Mom spend most of the day together, driving around the countryside checking out little dealerships, looking for that elusive 2002-2004 Chevy Cavalier or Dodge Neon in the right price range. Dad explains he was going to get a diamond for Syl for her birthday, but, well we just need to get a car instead. (Syl’s birthday, Tom’s car.) They take time out to eat lunch at Mom’s favorite venue: Chinese buffet. Was it desperation or success that allowed them to put in an offer of $5,600 on a black Chevy 2002 coupe with 75,000 miles, bargaining their way out of the dealer’s safety inspection?
Once home, Mom and Dad hang up coats and hats while David, Bryan and Franklin explore the “new” vehicle. Bryan and Franklin squish into the back seat, which lays down flat, and wiggle their way out the trunk. David interprets Dad’s instruction to “back the car out of the garage so it’s easier to inspect in the sun” as “take a spin around the block.” David also gets copies of the keys made and drives the car through the power wash. Before he leaves, Mom whispers “That black paint. It’s so ugly!”
David is surprised. “What do you mean? I love the black. It’s a car I might buy myself.” (Editor: So which is it, David’s van or David’s coupe?)

Dad fixed Mom’s birthday dinner stir fry last weekend, so today Mom insists they dine out at McDonald’s. Once home Dad frosts most of the chocolate cake Bryan baked (some of the BAD’s are not frosting eaters). It is then we discover there are no birthday candles. Not to worry, Mom has a drawer full of 10-inch taper candles leftover from Christmas and Devin’s Eagle Court of Honor. She pulls out four, Dad declaring that’s perfect as each can represent 11 years. It’s still tough for Mom to blow them all out but at least she isn’t spitting on the cake when she does it.
Presents are fun, mostly. Mom thought it would be a great joke to buy herself and everyone else socks and hand them out—better than listening to everyone complain about getting socks on their own birthdays, right? Wrong. “Are you sure these are my size?” “I don’t wear this short kind!”
Once past that, Mom gets a memory card from Bryan. (Now she can play Pikmin without getting her game erased.) Then Franklin brings a package labeled “To my favorite mother from her favorite son.” This is from David, of course, but Bryan comments “I didn’t realize I had given you a second present.” It turns out to be a new keyboard and optical mouse. Dad has purchased a second memory card and optical mouse, and a new frying pan, too. Franklin parts with his “love pillow,” a dollar-store red-velvet, heart-shaped pillow with the word LOVE embroidered on it, that he bought last year for himself. He also donates his diorama of an ocean scene made this year in Mrs. Kitelinger’s class as a 2nd gift. Kristi and Jonas call, singing “Happy Birthday” together. Mom is able to thank them for the beautiful yellow tulips that arrived from Centerway Floral earlier in the day.
We watch “Chronicles of Narnia” together. Afterwards, when Mom is tucking Franklin into bed he explains that the pillow means so much to him because it is pretty and it says LOVE. “My eyes are getting wet!” he exclaims. “I’ll share,” says Mom. One side of the pillow touches Franklin’s cheek and the other touches Mom’s as they read bedtime stories and say prayers. “Love is best when it is shared,” says Mom, and Franklin agrees.
After Dad and Franklin are tucked in bed, Mom sneaks back downstairs to play Tetris with David and Bryan. Tonight David has set up the Game Cube, so the players play several rounds each of “Square,” “Cascade,” and “Fusion.” Most games, either David or Bryan is the first to complete the designated number of lines, but every now and then, Mom wins. The first time this happens, the boys are a bit surprised, stopping to look over in her direction. Mom grins. Bryan nods his acknowledgement of her success and then explains, “After a while, you stop pausing. You trade your smile for a glassy stare and reflexively hit A.” (Hitting A makes the game restart.) After awhile, Mom begins to get a better feel for the controller and the game. When she wins for the fourth or fifth time, (still winning less than 1/10 of the games—earning a rank of 3 compared to the 9 and 10 the boys hold) the teens decide, “We’re going to have to stop calling her Mom and just call her ‘Player 3’.”

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It’s always nice to have someone call on us and it is even nicer if they stay overnight as it gives us more time to visit. This is something MGH and I enjoy. We even enjoy visiting with each other, and on occasion, we do just that. This might seem like a strange comment to make but please remember that we are living in a retirement home and while we have been together many years and done many things together in the past, right now, here in the present there isn’t a whole lot going on in our lives. Or rather we already know what has happened to the other person with whom we have just spent the last twenty-four hours and we have done this for many years now so we rarely have anything new to share with our partner.

There are a lot of things I thought would never happen to me but they have. I can remember reading about an orphan who is taken in by elderly relatives who when they ate never said a word to each other except for the necessary, “pass the salt, please”. My immediate reaction was pity. I also remember feeling a little bit smug wondering just how they had arrived at such a sorry state? Not saying a word through a whole meal, imagine that! You are now reading the words of a humbled woman. I know because MGH husband and I also can go through a whole meal with nary a word to the other except, “pass the salt, please”. Sometimes not even this is necessary as a look will often suffice and the required item is handed over without a sound passing our lips.

My husband tells me that he has learned two things from me while we have been married (as we are fast approaching forty-five years together this means he has learned something new from me on an average of once every twenty-two and a half years which isn’t bad all things considered). Number one is to use blue cheese dressing on his salads and the second is to bring a book to the table to read during the meal.

“What”, I ask, “happened to the rule, that there were to be no books or reading matter while eating?”

He replies, “I firmly believe that good conversation is an integral part of any meal. If that is lacking than reading is not such a bad idea.”

To be honest, good conversation happened while there were children in the home. Sometimes there were even two or three conversations going on at the same time. I remember Kyle coming home from his mission remarking that mealtime at our house was like attending a three ring circus–something was always going on and he didn’t mean it as a compliment either. Those were the days when someone spilling their milk/juice/water was such a regular occurence we just kept a towel handy to staunch the flow with the one who spilled being required to rinse out the soggy towel in the sink and then take it to the wash. But those days are long gone. So you see why we look forward to visitors.

When MGH’s niece Janice phoned and asked if she and her husband Dave could come stay overnight with us because she had a granddaughter who was performing in a SUU concert and they wanted to attend but didn’t want to drive back to Sandy late at night MGH was profuse in his response.

“Why, yes, yes that would be great. Do you remember how to find us. Make sure to get here in time to have dinner with us!”

I too thought it was a good idea but I immediately turned my thoughts to the logistics of the situation. As I saw it the number one problem would be that the commode downstairs, where they would be sleeping, rocked, which can be a somewhat alarming experience. I knew MGH had given up pulling commodes. Like a lot of things that disappear as one ages he has had to give up basketball, jogging, climbing ladders, sex, and now this too had been added to the list although truth to tell I don’t think he minded this one. So I said to him that I thought we ought to call a plumber to fix the toilet. He really startled me with the reply.

“No, I haven’t gotten to that point yet.”

He was as good as his word although as the days passed I couldn’t help wondering if perhaps he was delaying until it was to late to send out an SOS which would save both his wallet and his back. Oh woman of little faith. Two days before our guests were to arrive I heard the most awful groans coming from the bathroom. (MGH moves so quietly that I often don’t hear him in his comings and goings so I didn’t even know that he was downstairs. I have threatened to put a collar on him complete with a bell so that I will know he is around and I won’t be startled by his sudden appearances. So far, he hasn’t taken to kindly to this idea.) I hesitated to go look but in the interest of calling 911 while there still might be life I ran to the bathroom and peeked in. There he was strainingto put the toilet stool into the bathtub, having removed it from its moorings. It was heavy and awkward for him but he managed to get it landed, somewhat gently, into its temporary resting place. Fortunately, nothing was cracked/chipped/broken which I feared was the case as I heard it settle. You are probably asking why I didn’t help him and I would have but he didn’t ask me to which is probably just as well. . . .

The next sound I heard was even more heart rending than the first.

“Oh, Ohhh, Ohhhh, Aughh.”

Again I hastened into the bathroom and this time I found him not quite up and not quite down but poised somewhere between as he tried to lay down on the floor to continue his repairs. The space was cramped and awkward to begin with and his body no longer contorts with grace, so there he was trying to find the least painful way to lever himself into the necessary position, which he did, finally. Eventually, the mission was completed successfully, much to my great relief. The commode no longer rocked–we could have company without suggesting that it would probably be better if they used the hall bathroom upstairs. There was much rejoicing that night in the Andrus Retirement Home as we celebrated our fully functioning toilet. Let the company arrive. We were ready!

Sadly, Janice called later and cancelled. She fell last fall and suffered several severe injuries that she hasn’t quite recovered from that make riding in a car an agony for her and would we forgive her as her granddaughter was only singing in the choir and she didn’t feel she could endure the pain for anything less than a solo? Which we did of course.

At any rate, let it be known to one and all that we are up and running–at any rate the commode is and we are welcoming visitors!

Editor’s note: This article is based on fact but contains a lot of fiction.

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It isn’t often that we have something mysterious happen, after all, we do live in a Retirement Home where one day is pretty much like any other–I won’t bore you with the details but you get the idea when I say that we could pretty well give each others prayers which fact allows us to tune in for key words so that we will know when to say amen should our thoughts have wandered. So believe me when something different happens we pounce on it with extreme interest. This, then, is what happened. Perhaps after hearing the details you might offer an opinion?

MGH(My Good Husband) could hardly wait for me to wake up–most of the time it is the other way around but this particular morning he had wakened before me or perhaps he had never gone back to sleep (the adrenalin thing) after he heard something fall in his bathroom. I suppose that here I had best explain that this house has three bathrooms and only two people living in it which means that if the hall bathroom wasn’t used it would just sit there pining away waiting to be needed. Since ‘waste not want not’ is one of the virtues that has been deeply ingrained in me since my childhood I have claimed it as mine and it has worked out very well as this has allowed us to make our several trips in the dark of night to use the facilities without bumping into one another, which is good because not everything in life is so accomodating.

In MGH’s bathroom sits a heavy glass vase full of water, clear glass marbles and about ten, no make that nine–one just died, struggling bamboo shoots. (The only reason I keep them around is to see how long it will take them all to bite the dust or miracle of miracles turn bright green again which, as they haven’t quite managed to do either one yet, allows them to keep their right of place on the counter.) Simple, straightforward situation, right? Then please tell us how the vase managed to tip over on its own allowing the water to run out and puddle on the carpet in the middle of the night? The sound awakened MGH who was in bed at the time. Wondering about what could have made that noise he got up to investigate. What he saw puzzled him and being just a wee bit alarmed, at this unexplained mess, he put on his slippers and went through the whole house turning on lights as he proceeded, even going downstairs which is when he discovered that the stair light didn’t work ( I could have told him this as it has been in that condition since Eric hit his head on it when he went hurtling down the stairs while visiting us on New Year’s day this past January. Fortunately, neither Eric’s head or the glass fixture broke–just the lightbulb) As I am rather averse to hauling the ladder around and since I am the only one who seems to have noticed that the light didn’t work anymore it has just stayed unchanged, not that it is not on my list of things I need to do, because it is, its just that I haven’t gotten ’round to it’ yet.

The doors were all locked which meant that it had to have been an inside job which is why the first thing MGH asked me when I awoke that morning, in a rather acusing voice, was, “Is there a cat in the house you haven’t told me about?” This might seem like a strange question unless you knew that I have cared for Sadie, my friend Jewel’s cat and Indigo, who belongs to Brooks and Nancy, on occasion, but this wasn’t one of them. Mice haven’t been seen which isn’t unusual if they are sharing your living space but they do leave telltale signs and I hadn’t seen any droppings and besides it would have taken at least two or three mice, maybe even more, working together to tip the vase over so we ruled that out. We even considered the possibility of a rat, shudder, but came to the same conclusion–no previous signs. So we were really stumped. We still are for that matter.

So now that I have presented our mystery–do you have any solutions?

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Please don’t think that I forgot to write something for Ford on his birthday March 26, for it is not true. I wrote this neat essay about his birth and then lost it because I failed to punch the button that would have saved it.

I know a poem that expresses the feelings I had for the piece I wrote about my newborn son and then lost. During my piano playing days in a piano book called Easy to Play Favorites For the Whole Family, or something like that, there was a song entitled “The Lost Chord”. It happened to be one that I could almost play and so, as I haltingly practiced this song, I used to muse about just what this marvelous chord might have sounded like. Here then is the poem:

“Seated one day at the organ, I was weary and ill at ease, And my fingers wandered idly Over the noisy keys; I know not what I was playing, Or what I was dreaming then, But I struck one chord of music, Like the sound of a great Amen, Like the sound of a great Amen.

It flooded the crimson twilight, Like the close of an angel’s psalm, And it lay on my fevered spirit, With a touch of infinite calm, It quieted pain and sorrow, Like love overcoming strife, It seemed the harmonious echo From our discordant life, It linked all the perplexed meanings Into one perfect peace, And trembled away into silence, As if it were loath to cease; I have sought but I seek it vainly, That one lost chord divine, Which came from the soul of the organ, And entered into mine.

It may be that death’s bright angel will speak in that chord again; It may be that only in Heav’n I shall hear that great Amen. It may be that death’s bright angel Will speak in that chord again; It may be that only in Heav’n I shall hear that great Amen.”

Written by Adlaide Procter (1825-1864)

This then is how I feel about my lost essay, “I have sought, but I seek it vainly”. One of these days I will try to get it all down on paper again, but alas, I fear it will not match its glorious predecessor.

Love to you all. Mom

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