JOY
May 25, 2008
You see here, as they used to say back in the days when movies were changing from black and white to color, proof in ‘living color’ of the adage that when one takes that first step onto a slippery slope it is difficult to stop. Such is the case I now find myself in as I feel a need to tell the story of Joy’s birth even though the subject is of little interest to any but we two, still having done it for (or as some have said ‘to’) the rest which leaves me well down the afore mentioned slope I will complete the saga and hope my telling isn’t too painful for you gentle reader.
Her story begins with a dream I had, on the night she was conceived, of a beautiful little dark haired girl dressed in a jumpsuit with a white blouse that had a ‘peter pan’ collar edged in lace and little pink roses. I could tell that she was being watched over by caring people but I couldn’t see them as they were blurred in the background. I remember telling MGH that I thought I might be pregnant and that it was to be a little girl. If he was dismayed at the prospect of becoming a father at the age of 52 he never expressed it to me but rather stated his delight and encouragement. I was thrilled but also worried, not because I was then 39 and would be 40 when she was born but because there had been problems with Rh incompatibility with Sherman which promised all kinds of dire things should the baby not be Rh negative like me. Because of this concern I decided to see an obstetrician who specialized in ‘high risk’ births which is what I was labeled as soon as I was seen.
Older women are at a higher risk of giving birth to Down Syndrome babies and so he encouraged me to have an amniocentesis at sixteen weeks to check for this possibility. I was not thrilled at the prospect, having been there, done that with Sherman just before he was born but the doctor felt that there was a need to be aware problems so that ‘fore warned is fore armed’ and if that were the case we could make sure that the baby would receive all the help needed to be able to reach his/her full potential if we decided to go ahead with the pregnancy. He also told us that we would know the babies sex which in that day was a novel idea. I reluctantly agreed to the procedure but was not at all surprised when the tests came out normal and we were told it was to be a little girl for you see, I already knew that.
The pregnancy its self was quite uneventful other than leaving me feeling exhausted all the time. The big concern for us was to make sure that the baby arrived in the ‘right’ place rather than in the middle of nowhere as was the case for Brooks, which was a distinct possibility considering the hospital was located, a good half hour from our home, in downtown Madison. The doctor must have felt our panic because he scheduled labor to be induced eleven days before her due date (I was already starting to dilate which meant the potential was there for the Gano ‘glitch’ to swing into action). On the way into the delivery room the doctor said to me, it looks like we have an Rh negative baby on board as there had been no signs of any problems which was a great relief to us all. There had also been no problems develop because I had developed gestational diabetes as well but just to make sure there was help if needed my doctor had requested two pediatricians to be on hand.
So sure was I that my baby would arrive safely it barely registered when the doctor commented that the cord was wrapped around her neck three times which he quickly rectified before handing her over to the pediatricians who were able to get her breathing in short order. Because her color was poor she only registered 7 on the Apgar test (ten means all systems are go) which is given one minute after birth in order for medical personnel to determine if the baby needs extra care. The doctor was quick to reassure me that she should be just fine and then she was placed in MGH’s arms so that he could carry her down to be weighed and measured in the nursery, which I have always felt helped him bond to her as she quickly became a delight and joy in his life.
Since I am on the subject I need to tell you how I picked her name. Naming a child is a special thing and MGH agreed that I should be the one to do so for this baby. Don’t feel too sorry for him here as Sylvia is named after his mother Bertha Sylvira Wright and is the only grandchild named after her. Ford’s name came from my father Ford I. Gano while Brooks is named after Brooks Robinson of the Baltimore Orioles who many feel is the greatest third baseman who ever played the game. His first name, Paul, is for my grandfather Paul Gano so we both had a hand in that one. Sherman is named after my grandfather William Sherman Waddington with whom he shares the same birth date, August 20th. I wanted to name this little daughter after one of the virtues such as Hope or Faith maybe even Charity but hadn’t been able to make up my mind until one day I walked into the kitchen of the house on South Road in DeForest, Wisconsin and saw Sherman standing on a kitchen chair so he could reach the phone talking to one of his friends. I remember hearing him say, “My mother’s name is Joy Anne.” I knew as soon as I heard him say it that that is what her name would be as it expressed perfectly what I felt about this new little daughter who would soon arrive in our home. Here is a poem I wrote about her:
Sweet little babe asleep in my arms,
Stole you my heart with your innocent charm.
Dark hair curling ’round your face.
Beautiful eyes full of wonder and grace
While rosebud lips try to whisper to me
Of angels and wonders now fading away.
One of the strangest things about carrying her turned out to be the fact that there was absolutely no problem with Rh incompatibility even though she is Rh plus and I am Rh negative. Go figure that one as the potential for trouble was there in spades. After the delivery the doctor gently suggested to me that I might want to consider that five was enough for me, further stating that I had managed to slip by a lot of potential problems this time. He then hastened to assure me that if I wanted more children they would do their best to see that I did. I thanked him for his advice but didn’t tell him that this would be my last baby—that was another thing I knew from the beginning.
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