:Family Matters

June 20, 2010

Today is Father’s Day. Oh how I wish I could call my dad and visit with him for a little while. Ask him how he is doing. Tell him that I love him. Thank him for being my father. But, of course, I can’t because he left us 10 years ago on January 6, 2000. I have no doubt whatsoever that he is much happier where he is, happily engaged in the work that needs to be done on the other side of the veil, but I still miss him.

How I wish there was a way to tell you about my dad so you could know him just a little. That he was a hard working man who quietly reached out to those in need. How he loved his family. How willing he was to work for the good of the community he lived in with a sure vision of the future that benefited so many. How the world needs men like him today. I can remember him teaching us that compromise was never an option. I must admit that I have struggled with this idea over the years as it would seem that the politically correct way to get something done when you have a group of people attempting to work together is to listen to all opinions in order to find common ground which then, at least in theory, leads to a plan of action that is agreeable to everyone which would lead to action benefiting the group as a whole, at least that is how I think it is supposed to work. I can’t help but wonder what happens when you have a strong personality, like Dad’s, as member of a group discussion. I fear that there would not be a whole lot of agreement resulting in the dread ‘failure to communicate’ with the weaker reduced to filling space while the stronger personalities battled it out for dominance.

This might be a good place to add that there are those who think the camel is the result of committee work. Did you ever wonder if Heavenly Father passed out the paper and crayons to a group of children one day and said, “Here are the things this animal must be able to do, now draw me a picture of what you think it should look like.” Naw, it was probably Heavenly Mother who did that with the hope that if the children were happily engaged she would have a few minutes to get some things done that she needed to take care of. I mean, a camel works and is really quite efficient when it comes to storing water in case one should run out between water holes but I hear tell that they have terrible tempers and won’t move if they think they are being asked to carry too much. But, hey, I have seen children do the same and everyone knows how cute children are, so there is nothing new there. (One of dad’s favorite ways to describe a child was, “Cute as a bug’s ear”.)

Like most things in life beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and, who am I to argue the point? IMO, however, I think a camel is an interesting critter and if I had to make the acquaintance of one or the other I would definitely pick a camel over an alligator . . . . but, hey, that’s just me. In Saudi Arabia camels are allowed to run free which would be okay if they hung out in the desert and never crossed paths with cars but they don’t and they do with the loser being the car and its occupants/s. They even rate their own warning signs just like deer or elk do in this country which, when you see one you should definitely consider taking seriously. As Poncho says in the musical “Man of La Mancha”, “Whether the stone hits the pitcher or the pitcher hits the stone it’s going to be bad for the pitcher”.

Ah, hem, I see that I have diverged from my original point and will now attempt to correct myself which brings to mind MGS Barbara’s class motto which was, “Sit on the tack of success and rise rapidly”. This, of course ranks right up there with the BYU fight song which has a line that says, “Rise and shout the Cougars are out”, which, if one thinks about it, makes eminently good sense.

Dad passed on to his daughters this bit of advice which was, “Don’t try to dodge a small animal on the highway in an attempt to save it’s life as you put yourself at risk if you do.” He was right of course but I have seen him/been with him, more than once, ignore this advice as he attempted to save some small critter’s life. He was also right when he said it was a dangerous thing to try as his efforts at avoidance would sometimes send his vehicle fishtailing down the road. How he managed to stay alive during these escapades I will never know (as he died in his own bed may-hap he knew a few things he didn’t tell us or maybe he was just lucky.) Even if he didn’t follow his own advice, I have which has resulted in my hitting a small dog and a large coyote, both of which I regret as the small dog was a beloved pet and the coyote damaged the front skirt of our brand new car which MGH had to tie up with a shoelace. Sigh.

Dad was never one to beat around the bush if he felt the need to speak plainly about a subject. He once was asked to be on a panel of community leaders (he was serving on the school board at the time) who were asked, by Miss Grace Randell the Home Economics teacher, to speak to the young women in our high school on the subject of waiting for marriage before becoming sexually active, although I believe the official title was more genteel, which she felt was needed as one of our classmates was expecting a baby sans marriage. Talk about embarrassing, I didn’t lose my bright red face for a week. I wonder now, if it might not have been just a little bit embarrassing for him as well as us as this was not a subject he had ever spoken to his daughters about. In fact, if memory serves I believe the closest he ever came to commenting on our sexuality occurred one day when Barb and I were sitting on the front porch with him after supper and chores were done for the day when a car full of boys drove by and honked. Dad made the comment that we should get used to that kind of notice because we were young ladies now and that was the kind of thing young men did. End of conversation.

The memory of a person slips away as they and their contemporaries slide further and further into the past until at last there is no one left who does. But, while my sisters and I yet live – we remember. I find comfort in that thought.